The wedding bells chime, ring and burst my eardrums!

Now that my full time education is completed and I've landed a job, the next big concern of everyone around me ranging from my immediate relatives to a random neighbor who I just met at the temple or the lady who sat next to me in the bus, is to get me married. I’m sure many of my peers would be facing this same situation and I admit that it’s all funny to an extent. I also am touched by their concern for me, but it does get quite irritating after a point.

Isn't it a bit curious that our parents who teach us that boys are bad, dating is bad and that no one is to be trusted, suddenly begin to make us look at random photos and profiles of men and expect us to choose, or even fall in love at that instant? And what about the society (that raises questions if it spots a girl and boy speaking to each other) suddenly turning all pro-relationship? I’m still trying to get used to the idea here.

Now, getting into the more interesting and weird aspects of it; as I was out of town for my education until two months back, I wasn't really aware of all the marriage talks that were happening at home. So, once I was home, it looked like suddenly every visitor, may it be a family friend or relative, had nothing else to  speak about but my marriage which seemed to have become as significant as elections, petrol prices, global warming or the American economy itself.

Once I started getting used to hearing about the “budhan” and “shukran” of horoscopes and the prospective grooms who are either working in IT companies in Bangalore or are settled in US (wonder if US is some sorta trend here), I realized that I’m not the only person who was new to all this. My parents seemed to be equally new to the prospect of man-hunting for me. They were childishly excited about the whole prospect that I found my brother and myself joining the fun in spite of the pressure of it all. There’s a monthly magazine in which people of our caste advertise for wanted bride/grooms. If you check this magazine, you would know that there are only half as many girls as the grooms-to-be, available for alliances. So, after selecting and rejecting several people and taking those through the process of horoscope matching etc. my parents decided to take the next step and put my profile in the magazine as well! This time I felt things were beginning to get serious.

So, the much awaited magazine comes out in circulation and my family gets excited as our land phone starts ringing as early as 6 in the morning, with calls from interested parties. At the end of the day mom and dad would sit together and make a note of all the calls that they received and sort them out.

 But, after the first few days, I gleefully saw a turn of events. The excitement was less when the phone kept ringing from dawn to dusk. All four of us would look at each other’s faces, silently nudging the other person to attend the call as many of the calls usually meant answering an array of questions from the caller, and that too in Tamil. The parents began to get so confused with the never ending calls that they started maintaining a diary which my father named, "the marriage book". The one advantage of these calls was that my mom and brother started to improve their Tamil as all the callers conversed in nothing but Tamil! ( Being born and brought up in Kerala, our Tamil and Malayalam sounds alike except for dad who travels a lot and catches the accents fast. And I must say that my being adamant about conversing in Malayalam at home since childhood unlike other Tam Brahms, contributed to this as well).

I recollect that there were some particularly insane proposals; one in which the guy is a doctor and was willing to marry provided we pay for his higher education and another in which the guy's parents' details just said, "both are alive!". There was yet another family who sent their son's resume which included even his internship project details that caught me wondering for a moment whether they sent it to the wrong address or assumed that we were hiring.

Leaving out these aspects, I understand that choosing a partner for one's son/daughter is no easy task. A lot of responsibilities come with it and I'm proud of my parents who are doing well in spite of the excess pressurizing from friends and relatives. But I don't see why people consider marriage as the obvious and the only immediate future for a grownup (leaving aside our career or other interests that we'd very much like to pursue) and behave like they cannot rest until they marry off every single grownup in the society. No, pressurizing us is in no way helping us. There is no point in hurrying all this. One day, my husband might read this too! But I want that day to take its own sweet time and come at the right moment, and that is surely not gonna happen by increasing the blood pressure of everyone around me or giving me a deadline as if this is my next big project. I hope my well-wishers do let it happen at its own pace and prompt only when really required!